Humor                                                               Page 52


Leadership Lite


Hairy Powers
Joe Herman, track coach at Penn Manor High School in Lancaster, Pa., promised his team he would shave off his beard — which he’d grown since 1976 — if any of his team members placed at the state track and field championships. Two girls managed 8th-place finishes in the discus and shot put, so Herman, a history teacher, delivered on his performance incentive.

As the two students, armed with scissors, a razor and plenty of shaving cream, were about to attend to their task, the athletic director read aloud a proclamation from the superintendent to the eager onlookers.

“I, Dr. Mike Leichliter, superintendent of the Penn Manor School District, call upon Laura and Sara, other track team members, track team coaches and Penn Manor teachers to cease and desist this intolerable act that will forever affect the school, team and community by stripping Coach Herman of his superhuman powers that his beard of 30-plus years provides him.”

The crowd booed, and the clipping commenced.

(Source: The Intelligencer Journal, Lancaster, Pa.)

Talents Lie Elsewhere
For months, the director of the school orchestra at Illinois’ Bloomington High School was planning something special to mark Bob Nielsen’s retirement as superintendent and to welcome his successor, Barry Reilly, to Bloomington School District 87.

What she came up with was a performance of the two school system leaders as “guest artists” with the 80-member school orchestra. Never mind that neither of them — plus a third guest, the high school principal — had any instrumental music training. The piece on which they performed was dubbed “Concerto: For Faculty Versus Sympathy Orchestra.”

Nielsen was assigned the cymbals, while Reilly rehearsed on the vibraslap, a percussion instrument made of wire and wood. The latter’s most serious concern as a performer was to avoid embarrassing his two sons, who play bass and viola.

Fortunately, Reilly quipped, both boys have a good sense of humor.

(Source: The Pantagraph, Bloomington, Ill.)

Unusual School Mascot
In Orofino, Idaho, the high school athletes are known as the Maniacs.

The mascot for the small school was adopted back in 1927. High School Today magazine said opponents applied the nickname to a ragtag Orofino boys basketball team that had no money for uniforms and played like a “bunch of maniacs.”

(Source: National Federation of State High School Associations)

Not the Reality Game Show
Jim Hess, superintendent in Bemidji, Minn., received a phone call from a teacher just before the end of the school year, indicating she wanted to discuss a personnel concern. The teacher wanted to know about the school district’s professional transfer policy.

Hess informed the teacher that the deadline for requesting a transfer was approaching quickly, and she would need to get her request in as soon as possible to be considered.

The teacher answered, “The transfer request is not for me, it’s for one of my colleagues.”

The school district not being a reality TV show, Hess informed the teacher, “We don’t vote others off the island.”

Short, humorous anecdotes, quips, quotations and malapropisms for this column relating to school district administration should be addressed to:
Editor, School Administrator,
1615 Duke St.,
Alexandria, VA 22314
Fax: 703-841-1543

Upon request, names may be withheld in print.


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