Dealing With the Loftiest of Parental Expectations

"I want to do everything possible to prepare my child to go to Stanford. What should I be doing now to get my child ready?"

"I want to do everything possible to prepare my child to go to Stanford. What should I be doing now to get my child ready?” That’s what a new kindergarten mom inquired of me at a parent orientation. I jokingly responded, “If you are just asking me now, it is already too late.”

This was not an unusual question in the affluent suburban community of Mountain View, Calif., located a few miles from the Stanford campus.

I recently retired after nine years as superintendent in a Silicon Valley community populated predominantly by entrepreneurs, company CEOs, inventors, professors and professionals. I loved my job but found that working in a high-wealth school district had its distinctive pressures and stresses, especially when it came to parents’ expectations for their children.

Expected Access

Parents who work in executive-level roles expect to deal with the highest-ranking school official when they have an issue. It is not unusual to receive e-mails and texts throughout the workday from parents with the expectation I will respond within a few hours.

Parents in affluent school districts have access to information and individuals to advocate for their kids. I came to anticipate parents had researched issues thoroughly through the internet and personal contacts with specialists (child psychiatrists, statisticians and public policy professors). Some would dig into analyses of issues addressed in education publications. Such parents didn’t limit their contacts to the superintendent. When advocating their case, they also would connect with board of education members.

A particular challenge in high-wealth school districts comes through special education and Section 504 plans governing students with disabilities. Parents demand services and they have the means to hire attorneys and advocates to ensure their children receive the best options available, including additional time on school assessments and college entrance exams. It was not unusual to conduct an IEP meeting where the parents had invited five or more professionals to advocate for their child.

Parents pay high property taxes and donate millions of dollars to ensure their children attend quality public schools. As a result, they expect quality academics and a hands-on individualized program of personal guidance and college counseling. And if the school district does not provide a service to the parents’ standards, families have the means to hire private counselors, tutors, coaches and therapists.

When I was the district’s new superintendent attending my first meeting of our educational foundation, a member asked me what the foundation could do to “increase the number of students admitted to highly selective colleges.”

Out in Front

Superintendents can work effectively with parents in a well-resourced, affluent school district, but it takes a concerted effort.

Superintendents need to be accessible on social media and e-mail and available in person, in and around the community. High-wealth districts are “high touch” where constituents covet direct interaction with the chief district official.

Superintendents need to get out in front of issues by front-loading interactions with key communication leaders in their community. Prepare school board members with a communication strategy for engaging parents and community members.

Superintendents must do their homework. Use experts in researching and presenting ideas to your community. Before enacting any new program or policy, be sure it has a research base and it is communicated well and widely.

Our communities want it all: academics, arts, counseling, sports at various levels, STEM and happy kids. You cannot focus on only one area. You must be prepared to provide a plethora of possibilities.

Always do what is best for kids. This can come in conflict with special-interest groups on issues as diverse as appropriateness of the student newspaper, utilization of district facilities, grading practices, math curriculum and dress codes. Remember, there are students in the district who don’t have a strong voice and whose welfare must be considered when making decisions. I recommend focusing on all kids and putting their interest ahead of the adults — though admittedly this is not always a successful strategy.

Balancing Needs

Over my 23 years as superintendent, I periodically felt I should not respond to expectations and requests of well-resourced parents who seemed “out of control.” However, all public school parents and students have the right to a quality education and reasonable accommodations. The superintendent has to balance the needs of all students and their families for the common good.