Coaching Basics

In our previous blogs, we discussed the importance and value of coaching as a tool for professional development, and the variety of coaching models that are out there in the K-12 world and beyond. We briefly explained the Blended Coaching model, an approach to coaching that seeks to develop new “ways of doing” and new “ways of being”.

There are two basic skills that are at the heart of virtually all coaching models and perhaps at the heart of being a good human, the skills of listening and questioning. David Brooks, in his exceptional new book How to Know a Person, states that “There is one skill that lies at the heart of any healthy person, family, school, community organization, or society: the ability to see someone else deeply and make them feel seen–to accurately know another person, to let them feel valued, heard and understood.”

It can be hard work to truly listen to another person. We need to focus intently on that individual. We must shut down our inner voices, voices that might be formulating our next question or statement, that might be fantasizing about lunch or planning our next meeting. We need to attend to that individual’s utterances, and also to their intonation and body language. We need to listen to our own listening. How are we reacting, cognitively and viscerally, to the speaker? How do our own filters, experiences and biases shape our interpretations of what we have heard? Brooks shares research from Willian Ickes that suggests that most of us are miserably poor listeners, correctly understanding even close friends and family only thirty-five percent of the time. Great coaches, and great leaders, learn to listen well.

One way we can amplify our listening is through paraphrasing. When we mirror what we are hearing in our own words, we calibrate our listening against what the speaker is trying to communicate. And when a speaker hears our paraphrase they have the opportunity to reflect upon their own thinking and communication.

A: Covid really had an impact on our students.

B: You are clear that the pandemic was felt by our students.

When we mirror what we are hearing in our own words, we calibrate our listening against what the speaker is trying to communicate. 

B has made a pure paraphrase, restating what they heard with no interpretation or judgment. We have started the conversation, but there is much more to be learned. A, as is so common in our conversations, has spoken in generalizations. A next step in powerful listening is to ask the right questions. In this case, B asks a clarifying question:

B: Tell me more about the impacts you have observed.

A: We are noticing an increase in absenteeism.

From here, B can move to what we call a probing paraphrase, a paraphrase that goes beyond restating what they heard to testing an interpretation, reading between the lines, so to speak.

B: Sounds like you are saying that in this post-covid world a lot of students are choosing to skip school and that this is impacting their academic achievement.

A: Yes, kids seem to have lost motivation and parents seem to have thrown up their hands.

The conversation continues from here through a series of paraphrases and clarifying questions as B deepens their understanding of A’s concerns and as A tightens their own thinking as they articulate their perspective. For A, there is tremendous power in simply being listened to with interest and focus. But, as we shared in a prior blog, ultimately coaching has to be about clarifying and pursuing concrete goals, and this is where mediational questions might come into play.

Mediational questions are designed to shift the conversation into the future and to provoke thinking about solutions. They might sound something like:

B: What might be a few steps that could improve student attendance?

B: What resistance might you encounter and who could you enlist to support you in moving forward?

Paraphrasing, probing, clarifying and asking mediational questions are at the heart of what we call facilitative coaching. Facilitative coaching is a way for both the coach and coachee to think through a situation and to imagine a path forward. The locus of control is held by the coachee as they develop reflective habits of mind. Facilitative coaching helps coachees to develop their ways of being; their internal thought processes, instincts and values.

Let’s assume, elaborating on the coaching conversation we dropped in above, that B has decided that a next step should be to identify a group of students with attendance challenges and invite them to participate in a focus group. But B, who is new to the job and the district, does not know how to use the district database to identify target students and has never facilitated a focus group. B is asking for assistance. This may be a situation in which A provides what we call instructional coaching.

Where a coachee is lacking in particular knowledge and/or skills, it may be appropriate to provide instructional coaching. If a coachee doesn’t know what he/she doesn’t know, having a facilitative  conversation is likely to be ineffective and inefficient.  In these situations, a coach may function as a teacher, consultant and/or collaborator. So, A might sit side by side with B and demonstrate a search through the student database to identify possible focus group participants. A might consult with B as they develop a protocol for the focus groups. And A might observe B conducting a focus group, and then meet with B to debrief the focus group, providing A with feedback and guiding A in their analysis of the focus group outcomes.

Thus the Blended Coaching dance. We listen intently. We amplify our listening by paraphrasing, asking clarifying questions, testing interpretations through probing paraphrasing, and by provoking thinking through mediational questions. We call this Facilitative Coaching. Sometimes, the facilitative process leads us to understand that Instructional Coaching is appropriate. We might teach, consult, or collaborate with our coachees, and then put on our facilitative hats as we process those interactions.

And there is still more to the Blended Coaching dance; the art of providing feedback and the challenge of helping coachees to develop their ways of being through Transformational Coaching. We will explore these and other topics in upcoming blogs.