The Moment I Knew I Needed Help

My View

I vividly recall processing the moment in my car. I felt compelled to pull over. Then I burst into tears. Me. A superintendent, former principal and high school football coach with a long beard. I am supposed to be tough. People like me don’t cry. We suck it up and lead, whatever the situation. We stand firm, modeling our resolve for others.

A school superintendent’s work creates the conditions for students to thrive, educators to teach to their fullest, school leaders to lead, parents to feel connected and school board members to govern well. Talking to superintendents across the country, I have been struck not by the uniqueness of individual circumstances but rather by the mirror my colleagues hold up that directly reflects my own experiences back to me. These are tough times for school leaders everywhere.

Today, we face divided publics, beleaguered boards, struggling leaders and educators attempting to ensure learning, safety and personal health, and students experiencing visible and invisible trauma — each and every day. What has been notable is that schools this year missed out on the traditional “honeymoon period” that occurs each fall. 

In my professional experience, so-called “February issues” usually indicate an exhausted school population in desperate need of a break. This fall, February issues were in full force — in September. What does that mean? It means the people in our schools and communities are struggling more than ever.

It keeps me up at night to know that those I am responsible for are those who are struggling. In sleepless moments, and in that moment on the side of the road, I realized that failing to emotionally care for myself renders me unavailable to care for others. Think of the airline safety speeches before every flight where we are reminded to tend to our own air masks before helping others. I needed to put on my mask.